Ashey absense weight off Geordies and all the this week’s quick one-twos

Mike Ashley’s absence has already had its effect;
Ian Darke: “A very, very thin crowd by Newcastle standards.”

Pronunciation of the week – Graeme Souness’ take on Bolton’s keeper;
“Jastlun Chestunlaika”

Ray Houghton lauds the great Trinitarian mystery that is Wayne Rooney;
“The one thing he’ll give you is attitude and determination – and the ability to score goals.”

Setanta’s Tim Sherwood dismantles the Queen’s English;
“How wrong was we!”

Dodgy dealings at Old Trafford?
Today FM news: “AIG have been making risqué transactions.”

Roman Pavlyuchenko getting the hang of things at Spurs;
“The fans sing, yell, and stand up and applaud. They don’t even need goals”

Richard Keys gets out the violin for Everton’s Marouane Fellaini
“A young man abroad alone…”