GNAWING AWAY

Alex McLeish was happy with Shay Given’s hamstring, but worried he’d started teething:

“He is champing on the door to be involved this weekend against Everton.”

 

SUMMERTIME BLUES

Danny Kelly wraps a cloud round every silver lining:

“One win doesn’t make a swallow.”

 

TINKERMAN

Paul Merson, slowly but surely tweaking every known idiom for his own purposes:

“The saying is; don’t try to fix something that ain’t broken.”

 

SURE THING

Garth Crooks – a one-man rebuttal of the clamour for video evidence:

“I’ve just watched the replay and there is absolutely no doubt – it’s inconclusive.”

 

GET YOUR COAT

Jay Spearing’s twanged hammer sent Guy Mowbray down a road nobody wants to travel:

“What  did  you  pull  most  when  you were  playing?”

Lawro: “I couldn’t possibly tell  you  that on here.”

 

FLIRTCROFT

Having given Alan Brazil chapter and verse on the title race, Garry Flitcroft can’t have been prepared for what came next:

“Garry, what about giving me a just a little touch on the bottom?”

 

JASE FLUID

Jason Roberts proved a massive help on MOTD2.

Jake Humphrey: “That tackle was a real game changer.”

“Yes it really changed the game.”

 

HAVE A HART

John Hartson, talking about his gambling problem in his recent autobiography:

“Some people just can’t let it go and they are still hassling me. They are still offering me the opportunity to bet, trying to make a way into my friendship.”

Alan Brazil, before Man City-Liverpool, last week:

“Whoa, 5-8 John, a fiver on that – how about it?”

 

SETTING THE BAR

This week’s Low Standards Award goes to Jeff “Forget Beckenbauer” Stelling:

“Gary Cahill is the ultimate centre-half.”

 

HALF MEASURES

Alan Shearer must be counting half-chances:

“Nine and a half times out of ten he’ll beat the keeper.”

 

STILL?

Dwight Yorke tips another six eggs into his cake mix:

“On his day, Paul Scholes is still arguably the best player in the world.”

 

SELF-MADE MAN

Robbie Savage pays tribute to Thierry Henry’s tireless work on behalf of Thierry Henry:

“He’s a fantastic ambassador for the way he conducts himself.”

 

HIGH PRAISE

It will mean a lot to Butch, coming from Micky Quinn:

“It was nice to hear Ray Wilkins speaking so articulate.”

 

FOOT IN MOUTH

Micky trips up again:

“You’ve got a little spring in your step in your voice.”

 

LOT OF PULL

Phil Thompson hails Martin “Tractor” O’Neill:

“He has literally lifted Sunderlandout of the mire.”

 

CASTING THE NET

Merse is a fish up a tree again. Or a  cephalopod anyway.

“It was a bit of a damp squid today for Liverpool.”

 

TIED UP

Stan Collymore is not a believer in playing with freedom:

“Fernando Torres needs a new leash of life.”

 

GUFF STREAM
All the rest of the week’s nonsense…  

David Pleat stuffs his sorries in a sack:
“I feel sorry for Wolves at the moment but not sorry for them.”

Kevin Gallagher puts everyone off their chicken:
“Venkys are big in the pharmaceutical business.”

Guy Mowbray carries the one:
“Berbatov doubles his goal tally from one to three.”

Careful what you wish for, Alan Pardew:
“Sometimes you want Obertan to open his legs and do something a bit exciting.”

Mark Saggers dismisses Man City:
“They don’t look like European World Champion beaters to me.”

James Mason stays in tune:
“Fleetwood have a pitch-perfect pitch.”

Micky Quinn thinks twice:
“Are Spurs title contenders for the league?”

Spotter’s badges to…  

Ronan CorkSongs.com
Dom
Joe Harrington
Ronan Moyles
Boots
Rob Lee
Tr3v0r M33han
MirrorFootball

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