BACK TO THE FUTURE

With many people’s tip going out at the quarter-finals, pundits like Alan Shearer are beginning to err on the side of caution with their predictions:

“Pele did say an African team would win the World Cup before 2000 – I think it’s going to be longer.”

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REMEDIAL PUNDITRY

Could you go over that one more time Gilesy?

“When you give the ball away Darragh, obviously you’re giving it to the opposition.”

Now let’s work out the complex equation that is Fernando Torres:

“If he’s not quite 100 per cent, he plays at 60 per cent.”

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REGRETS, I HAVE A FEW

Japanese coach Takeshi Okada figures out where it all went wrong:

“I should have been more insistent on winning.”

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LOCAL RIVALRY

Paddy  McKenna on 2FM confirms rumours of in-fighting in the Dutch camp:

“Today it’s the big one – Holland against The Netherlands.”

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EXPERT VIEW

Hospital pass of the tournament:

“Dunga’s done it but it’s not easy being a top-class player then becoming a top-class manager – John Barnes, your thoughts…”

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OUT OF THIN AIR

Ronnie Whelan suspects the European teams have moved mountains to get past the South American challenge in the quarter-finals:

“The altitude must have dropped or something.”

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DEL BOSQUE’S TEAM TALK WRITTEN

Stephen Alkin regards the Spanish as a particularly vindictive bunch:

“Spain, having beaten Germany in the European Championship final, will now have a chance for revenge.”

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SCANT REWARD

After his cool penalty winner, Sebastian Abreu might be wise to avoid Lee Dixon in the run-up to the semi-final:

“I’m having that bloke all day long.”

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LOVE HURTS

Talksport’s Adrian Durham extends the embargo on happiness for English footballers:

“You look at Lampard – he’s getting engaged. You’re very happy for him, but the timing’s a bit off for me.”

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LIFE SENTENCE

History is made on BBC Norn Iron as 13 humble words are organised in this order for the very first time:

“If you think you have the talent to be the next Jackie Fullerton…”

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TRIAL AND ERROR

Charlize Theron doesn’t ring any bells with the BBC’s Steve Wilson:

“I don’t know who she is, but I’m pretty sure she’s a WAG.”

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FRINGE BENEFITS

In the continued exile of Big Ron, Our Ronnie seems to have taken some responsibility for the ongoing development of Ronglish. Whelan was unhappy with Javier Mascherano and the square passing that stalled Argentina’s progress:

“They call it the barber – everything is short, back and sides.”

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CLOSE SHAVE

Peter Drury waxes lyrical as the Netherlands struggle early on in their quarter-final:

“There’s a certain Brazilian smoothness going around.”

………………..

OH DANGER HERE

Guy Mowbray does a George on the Dutch defence:

“They haven’t conceded a goal from open play yet, that may be about to change, it has.”

Before George takes over to get Uruguay back in their quarter-final:

“You just have a feeling Diego Forlan is not on his game.”

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QUICK ONE-TWOS

David Pleat refuses to dance on Five Live:

“It takes two to tempo.”

Martin Keown has an evil scheme brewing:

“The Dutch are playing into my hands there.”

George Hamilton has more bad news for the people of Lisbon:

“Cristiano Ronaldo, the capital of Portugal.”

Before turning his attention to post-match refreshment:

“We are within 90 seconds of the blow.”

Simon Brotherton points out another problem with the Jabulani:

“Van Persie just caught the angle of the ball.”

Spotter’s badges to bootsybah, SimonHume, almdemo

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