Adriano Fat

Corinthians have imprisoned Adriano at the club hotel to force the former Inter Milan star to lose weight.

According to IBNLive, the once-feared striker will be detained “because the team feels he won’t improve his condition unless he stops eating excessively.”

“We locked him here because this way we can have more control of what he eats, of how he rests,” said trainer Fabio Mahseredjian. “You can only lose weight if you stop eating.”

Adriano will train three times per day and will be given a special plate – not an Alan Partridge-style big plate – at meal-times. And the big man can forget room service. Crap, healthy snacks that he won’t want will be delivered to his hotel room at regular intervals in a vain bid to sate his formidable appetite.

Clearly, the  Corinthians gaffers didn’t pay attention to Sky’s Dream Team because we all know the mayhem and shenanigans that ensued whenever any of the Harchester United lads spent any length of time at club hotel The Grange.

Something to consider, especially since IBNLive’s report also contains this  extraordinary  sentence.

More recently, a woman riding in Adriano’s car accused the player of shooting her in the hand, but she later retracted and said the weapon went off accidentally when she was holding it.

Carry on.

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