Different class, different class

What a festive season its been for Jimmy Magee. We’ve enjoyed the full repertoire.

Tevez dances

Cassano booking

The yellow card rules him out of the next game against old club Roma but Cassano takes it on the chin:

Shades of ‘92 as Fergie getting worried?

“Gracious Ferguson” was the popular verdict on Saturday after Sir Alex conceded that United were “beaten by the better team” at Upton Park. But did anyone detect shades of the famous 1992 tantrum when Fergie famously described the effort the Hammers put into beating United as “obscene”?
“Most teams are motivated against us anyway… ”
“I suppose [...]

Merse ploughs on as Eamo turns again

Handsome new addition to Merse’s fledgling lingo:
“Pizarro’s tried to be greedy and he’s done the Sunday roast. Goal kick.”
Liverpool would never have trouble qualifying if Ray Houghton was in charge.
“Last three games of the group, 15 points, absolutely fantastic.”
You were wondering why Sky’s Rob Palmer never really gets the big gigs?
“Tuncay’s goal was something special, [...]

Fabio angry

When Fabio Capello takes charge, Stevie G might be wise to think twice before knocking too many Hollywood balls.

Walter Rant

“His behaviour over the years has been impeccable really.” Never saw this famous chat with Chick Young, Gilesy?

Green Wickets by Ed Leahy

Former dispenser of sage advice in his role as DH Towers taxifan, Ed Leahy put down the arduous slog of six tough weeks in the Caribbean this year.
In between appraising the RTE website of the quality of his breakfast muffins, Eddie managed to pen a book commemorating Ireland’s historic showing at the World Cup. [...]

Anton and Nigel

Nigel Reo Coker & Anton Ferdinand doing the Soulja Boy Crank

Anton and Nigel

Nigel Reo Coker & Anton Ferdinand doing the Soulja Boy Crank

Red Tom Tyrrell and co ride on

Some of the choice cuts this week from the DH Fine Emporium of Guff
Phil Thommo using his mangerial nous to get in the head of Juande Ramos:
“He’s put Zokora in there to look at maybe long-short term.”
Red Tom Tyrrell defends the good people of St. Helens from the greatest sleight of all:
“It used to be [...]

Kammy sings

Early Doors

Ron’s rather uneconomical alternative for the times when he finds the word ‘early’ on its own somehow doesn’t quite get across the earliness of the situation.
In the end, this completely useless phrase became his finest hour – becoming unanimously adopted by everyone in football.
Ron might say:
Well United went one down early doors, but all [...]

Second Post

Where less helpful pundits would talk about the ‘far post’, Ron – never one to discriminate against the uninitiated – thoughtfully provides a clue as to the location of this post to those not familiar with the rudiments of goalpost construction.
After years of persuasion by National Institute of Commentating boffins, Ron eventually went so far [...]

Spotter’s Badge

Very much the language’s signature piece. A metaphorical prize awarded by Ron when a player he likes makes a perceptive pass.
Ron might say:
Spotter’s badge for Beckham to put Cole clear. Shame about the finish.
Mrs. Ron might say:
Oh you bought some milk Ron. Spotter’s badge, we’re on our last pint.

Lollipop

Excitable Ron’s description of a popular football skill, usually performed by a ‘tricky’ winger. National Institute of Commentating scholars were long convinced that this Ronglish classic owed something to the lollipop stick/trick Cockney rhyming slang staple, but when pressed on the matter, Ron blew this theory out of the water.
“That’s not a bad shout. I [...]

Jimmy Magee in fine form on Sunderland – Derby

After leaving in seven at Goodison, the Black Cats record signing suffered the ultimate sanction at Keano’s hands:
“Craig Gordon has been fingered and dropped.”
Harsh but fair.
And Jim had his own cruel verdict for Kenwyn Jones and his clumsy brand of profligacy:
“Ahh, denied by the upright. Or maybe he denied himself.”
Perched as he undoubtedly was in [...]

Why can’t pundits recognise an open mic?

Jim White and Charlie Nicholas having a laugh about the famine, Souness double-talk and Darragh Moloney is, like, sooo whatever.
Check out all the guff in Champions, the Premier League pullout in today’s Irish Examiner.

Happier times for Harry

“No wonder he’s in the facking reserves.”

Harry’s press conference

“…I say emails, but I don’t have a computer. And if I did, I wouldn’t know how to work it.”